Tips on Life

Excuses on being Late to School

"I don't know."
"My parents lost the key to my cage."
"The bus dropped me off on Mars."
"I was brushing my pet giraffe."
"The bed took me to another dimension."
"My hamster locked the door."
"Someone told me to count my hair."
"Mum made me cook for the whole of Spain."
"I think everybody's too early."

How to Escape from Aliens

Lock the door and make silly noises. If an alien gets into your house, sing "Humpty Dumpty" but change "Humpty dumpty sat on a wall" to "Humpty dumpty sat on a UFO".
This will hypnotise the aliens and make them jump into a UFO.
Wear pink sunglasses all the time and pucker your lips when you talk. Bring a pendulum around and tell the time wrong, so the aliens will think their time on earth is over.

 

JOKES&UPDATES

Q: What do you get if you mixed your principal with a wooden club?
A: A headache

Q: What is a slug?
A: A snail with housing problems

Q:If you threw yourself into a black pond, whaddaya get?
A: Wet

Q: What is a horse plus a sore throat?
A: Hoarse

                                                                ~~~~~~~
Hey guys! Did you know that I'm fasting? Do you even know what fasting IS? Do you even know WHY I'm fasting? Hah? Hah!?
CRACK!
(I smashed the window)
"Anya!!!! I just fixed that!"
"Sorry, mum!"
Now, it is Ramadhan. If you wanna know what that is, then you'd better have Internet and Google.

                                                          ~See Ya!

Hamsterz

Hey guys! A while ago, my new hamsters (Vifa&Koko) had 5 babies! But sadly, 1 died.
Now there are 3 babies left, since I gave one of them to my friend, Adel.
Each of the hamsters have different personalities.
Cooky is clumsy, small, and, let's face it,: a wimp (just like his Papa). Muffin could be hauled all the way across the world, but he wouldn't realise it if you gave him a couple o' kuacis and popcorns.
Miffy is fiesty and strong, and Viko is nibbly (ouch) and a scaredy-hamster.

Wanna-be Writers

Hi guys. You might recall, I moved from Aussie to Indo. Well, I was at a bookstore once. A rack displayed rows of books from the same publisher. It publishes books that Indonesian kids write by theirselves.
I read through a couple of books. 95% of the books were about going overseas, having bestfriends from America, Australia, Japan, Korea. It made me clench my fists. My heart drummed against my chest.
The children showed off. They were about the same age as me, the writers. Yet their books were so.....so wannabe!
A girl wrote about shopping and being rich. Another wrote that she came from multiple backgrounds. Another said she was a rockstar, living in America.
The children were showing off about having mountains of money, fans, and unlimited tickets to America.
They spoke in wanna-be English. It got me tongue-tied and sick. It made me want to punch the walls in anguish.
One day, I was called by my mother. She showed me a magazine. The article featured the negative effects from children writers. The children were fooled my materials. Money, toys, clothes.
They thought foreign countries had everything.
But some writers knew that going into foreign countries wasn't to show off when they wrote a book.
I could never express how much I feel toward those children.
Well, this is Anya.